I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time…but feel oddly flattered that you’re asking lil’ ol’ me to pray for you. So, yes, to answer your question: you can most definitely count on my prayers! May the Lord help you and give you peace and focus with school, with your health/fitness goals, and definitely with your relationships - with others and with Jesus!
And, if I may, here is some advice. Not that you should feel even the least bit obligated to take my advice, especially since I don’t know a whole lot about your situation, but, for what it’s worth…
You may want to reevaluate this arrangement of being friends with your ex, at least for the time being, especially if you feel you’re struggling with feelings of jealousy and anger toward him and his new gf. I don’t know how long ago you two broke up, but if it was a recent thing, I definitely recommend giving yourselves some space from one another and allowing yourself some time to really heal. Part of that healing process is honestly to allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel. And I don’t believe you can truly, deeply, authentically feel what you need to feel (all the good, bad, and ugly) if you’re in close proximity to your ex. Then you’ll just get focused on what his response will be to your feelings rather than focusing on your own healing process. Not healthy. For either of you.
The thing is, if he does care about you and you about him, ultimately, your friendship will be able to survive a bit of a break. And remember, friendship is not one-sided. You both will have to be open and honest about the new dynamics of your relationship and will have to actively communicate with and pursue the other in order to keep the friendship working. Hopefully it’s not already like that, but if you ever see that it starts being one-sided — only one of you doing the work to keep the friendship afloat — then honestly, it’s probably not worth your time or his.
Another huge part, and the key thing that will help you prepare for a new relationship when someone else does come along, is to take care of YOU and to become confident and secure in who you are first. You mentioned that you feel you need to love God and yourself more. I think you’re spot on with that. Always remember that your identity should be in Christ and not in ‘finding someone who will love you.’ You are wonderfully and beautifully made by the Almighty of the Universe! That means you’re pretty freaking amazing! I will pray that God will grant you patience as you wait on Him to bring you the right person, but also remember that God doesn’t just hand us character qualities like patience; he puts circumstances in our way that require us to exhibit those very qualities that we are asking for. So be alert and attentive. You never know when God may bring a person or situation in your way to help you develop patience, self-love, etc.
Those are my two cents. Of course, like I said, make of it what you will. I hope things get better for you, Anon. And thanks for dropping a line here. Blessings, prayers, and best wishes! xoxo